What awaits future generations?

This is, of course, a question that occupies all parents, all mothers and fathers, indeed everyone on the planet without exaggeration. Even if you are not a parent or mother, there is certainly at least a slight concern about thinking about the future of the coming generations, which is closely linked to the future of this planet. In the past, the future of generations depended on thinking about whether they would be healthy, happy, better educated, or have a more comfortable or advanced life. But today, thinking about future generations goes beyond food and drink; it is primarily based on whether there will even be future generations amidst all this destruction. And if we look optimistically, amidst natural disasters and man-made ones including wars, famines, destruction, the spread of diseases, economic wars, and fierce political battles, the question that arises in this currently charged atmosphere with all these conflicts is: what is the future of the coming generations? 

Moreover, with all the development in artificial intelligence that has entered every aspect of our lives, the existence of the human element has become threatened - either with extinction or being rendered unnecessary. And I do not know whether one day, in future generations, humans will serve robots, or whether we created artificial intelligence to serve The human element: It is noticeable that the increasing assignment of artificial intelligence to take on human tasks, whether in thinking or performing duties, gradually diminishes human capabilities. We have always trained generations to use their mental abilities in discovery and invention, and even those without mental abilities were assigned tasks such as industry, agriculture, construction, and all the work requiring physical effort. This is still somewhat present today. But the question is: will this fundamental reliance on humans continue in future generations? Can we be certain that human mental abilities will not decline as they rely more on machines for thinking and performing mental tasks instead of themselves? Nowadays, the term 'brain rot' has even emerged. Another question is: will future generations even see each other's faces, given what we currently observe in present generations who walk the streets, drive cars, and use public transport without noticing the faces and features of people around them? Some might not even notice what is happening around them unless something very conspicuous occurs, at which point they might lift their gaze from their mobile phones to look around, if not completely paying attention otherwise.

It is possible for him to lift his gaze from his mobile phone and look around, that is if he doesn't have headphones on that separate him from reality and from listening to what is happening around him. In fact, even members of the same family have come to learn about each other's news via Facebook and social media. The current generations have become more isolated and introverted; they live their lives behind screens, falsify everything, live a life of quick, fake snapshots just to show off in front of strangers they don't know. Everyone has become obsessed with the number of likes on every photo and boasts about stories even if they aren't true, seeking to gain fake sympathy for fake situations, aiming for quick gains in ways that seem easy and fast, requiring no physical or mental effort, creativity, or pursuit of any meaningful goal, whether it be instant pleasure, acquiring things, or living a fake life. Even human relationships have suffered damage; everyone has become either more violent or more careless of others' feelings, or seeks uncommitted, short-term relationships, or abandons those they are connected to faster than they became attached. In light of all this, how can we expect a future for coming generations if the current generation is living in such loss, distraction, and catastrophic human conditions, one may thinkSome believe that those living in war and disaster zones are the ones affected, but a deeper analysis of reality shows that the whole world is affected and that there are those leading everyone to madness. No one can honestly predict the future of the coming generations, which, unfortunately, given the current circumstances, I expect to be the most unfortunate of all generations that have existed on Earth.

The secret behind it?

  I always think about what would happen if a certain situation were the opposite of what it was, or if someone who helped me in some way or was kind to me in certain situations were the opposite. How would my life be, or how would the situations that were built on the fact that an event or a person was a certain way be? Then I discovered that everything bad, or the people who were bad in my life, or who acted badly towards me, or who were the way they were even if I wished they were different, were a blessing from God. Because if it weren't for all the events that happened and what those people did, I wouldn't have faced greater challenges. We are always grateful to people who treated us well, appreciated us, encouraged us, or were kind to us. We are happy with good events that we believe were the most important and best things that happened to us.

But in reality, it's not just good people or good events that made us who we are. It's possible that when we faced a particular obstacle, it led us down a different path, one that God had already ordained for us, and which we wouldn't have discovered otherwise. Perhaps if we hadn't encountered the bully who hurt us, we wouldn't have been filled with the determination to challenge and succeed. Perhaps if we hadn't experienced injustice, we would have wronged others without feeling any remorse. Perhaps if we hadn't received the support we needed from loved ones, but they let us down, we would have turned to God for help and support. As a result, we drew closer to God, sought refuge in Him, and were blessed with His guidance and support, which is more valuable than any human support.

Perhaps if we hadn't endured all those nights soaking our pillows with tears and stifling our sobs, we wouldn't have felt the joy and sweetness of victory when we achieved our dreams, dreams we thought were impossible. Every time someone we thought was important and essential to our lives left us, while in reality they didn't love us or show us loyalty, we grieved deeply for their departure, our hearts breaking. But the reason was that they were clearing the way for someone else to take their place in our hearts. We then witnessed how God sent us compensation in the form of someone who loves us, is devoted to us, and whose sole concern is to be the source of our happiness.

This question often troubled me: What is the secret behind all the pain I've experienced in my life, the betrayals, the broken trust, the bullying, and the unfortunate events that have occurred? Why does this happen to me? Why can't only pleasant and happy things happen to me? Why can't I live a comfortable and joyful life without pain, oppression, or heartbreak? The answer came to me after I turned forty. Now I think about what would have happened in my life if I hadn't encountered every bad situation, every bad person, every pain, every disappointment, every person who hated me, plotted against me, or bullied me. The answer is, I wouldn't have achieved any of what I have. All of that fueled my inner drive to become the best version of myself, to push myself through challenges, to become a more successful, better, more self-confident, more balanced, and wiser person.

My dreams would have remained just dreams, and I wouldn't have achieved any of them, were it not for God's grace in allowing me to go through all the difficult experiences that enabled me to revise my life choices, think clearly, always seek alternatives, and accept every challenge as an inherent part of daily life. Consequently, I endured struggles and considered them life's battles that refined my character. They didn't come to destroy me, but rather to dismantle the weak parts of my personality, allowing the strong parts to emerge and confront obstacles. Thanks to all of this, the fighting spirit within me was born—a spirit determined to achieve its goals.

I also discovered that what I thought I had lost wasn't truly lost, but rather that it wasn't right for me and might have led to my downfall or changed my path. Even when I lost what I thought was lost, it was necessary for me to see things clearly and seek what was best for myself. Everyone who let me down or didn't support me was the reason many people admired my personality. I am a strong person with a mature mind, and everyone around me trusts my judgment and consults me. My life is filled with people whom fate has filtered out for me; the bad ones are gone, and only the loving and loyal remain.

Therefore, I came to the conviction that there is no such thing as loss, for every loss was the secret behind a great gain that occurred in our lives, or happened in our personality, or made a difference in our choices, decisions, and directions in life. And there is no such thing as if what happened had not happened, because everything that actually happened was destined by God for a reason, and it was indeed the reason behind many good things, even if we did not realize them at the time or have not realized them yet. Therefore, believing that all of God's decrees are good is not just an act of worship, but rather a cure for the soul and a reassurance for the heart that what is yours will not be for someone else, and what is not yours will not be for someone else. The most precious and valuable metals must be exposed to very high temperatures in order to be shaped in a dazzling way that captivates hearts. So whenever we are exposed to trials, we must be patient so that we may rejoice in the secret behind that trial, which is great joy, God willing

it's not too late yet

About two months ago, I decided to quit my job and stay home. This year marks my fiftieth birthday. Everyone thought I'd gone mad. With widespread youth unemployment and a deteriorating economy, I decided to give up my government job of twenty-five years. Everyone also assumed I quit because of one of my bosses, who harbored resentment and malice toward me and subjected me to all sorts of harassment for ten years. While that was ostensibly one of the reasons, I'd hated the job ever since. I never wanted to be a social worker, but I endured it until I finished my doctorate and got another job. I got my doctorate ten years ago, but since then I've been trying to find a different job, and I haven't succeeded at all.

That job has always been a source of nothing but bad memories and a present that reflects my failure. The bad memory came when I was in high school and a social worker bullied me to please her colleague, a French teacher, who considered me bad simply because I didn't take private lessons with him. She helped him and only stopped bothering me after my mother visited her at home and gave her a gift, which she accepted. From that day on, I considered everyone who worked in that job to be a bad person. Perhaps for this reason, I tried to always be a help and support to my students and refused any attempt by a teacher to bully a student. I treated them like my own children, and indeed, I earned the love of most of the students I worked with. Thanks to God, I left a mark on their lives that changed them and made them eager to stay in touch with me for many years afterward.

As for the present, it meant that I was a person with a doctorate in literature and a specialization in medical anthropology, working in a field completely unrelated to my studies. While others like me were racing to publish scientific research, attend conferences, and try to change people's lives, I was drowning in paperwork and writing, my life wasting away on the demands of my superiors, who seemed to relish the feeling of being in charge of someone more qualified than themselves, and who would harass me. My words might sound arrogant, but unfortunately, it was the truth. Furthermore, working in education always made me feel like everyone else was moving forward while I was stuck in a rut. There was no change, no development, no future, no ambition, no hope for anything different.

Every day I felt like I was dying a slow death. Everything about this job was destroying me. I had decided to quit five years ago, but my friends dissuaded me, constantly telling me it was a mistake. How could I leave all those years without a pension? What would I do with my free time? I was a working woman, used to leaving home every day for work, interacting with people, students, and parents. I would definitely become depressed and regret leaving the job, but it would be too late.

I thought it was too late. As for me, I knew that my peace of mind was at risk and that because of this job I had lost my writing skills, my passion, and all my hobbies. Even the knowledge I had spent a lifetime studying was of no benefit to me or anyone else. What is the point of a person wasting their life in a life they hate when they can change but don't try? The truth is that every time I was about to take that step, I was too cowardly and backed down, and I would hear the voices of my friends and my father, may God have mercy on him, warning me against my recklessness. But suddenly I discovered that the adventurous person inside me had not died yet, and that I could break free from all the annoying molds that people think we must live according to because they are the ideal molds for a stable life. Suddenly I dusted off that rebellious giant inside me and left the job and decided that there was no going back. Today, after two months, which is not a long time, I decided to reward myself by praising myself for that decision. Perhaps the change came late, but it is better than never coming at all, and I am truly very happy with that decision and the other decisions that resulted from it. My advice is to change; it's not too late yet.

Running in the Wrong Direction

 I recently realized I was running in the wrong direction. I kept running, ignoring the mockery and stares of those around me, and their ridiculous questions: Why are you running? Why in the wrong direction? I stopped for a moment to look around and saw no one. After sitting on a rock, I wondered, "Where are the others? Am I running alone? Who am I racing with? Is this the right direction? I've been running for so long, but what have I achieved? Would I have been deprived of what I have if I hadn't run? Have those sitting around achieved their goals in life without running? Will I continue running alone? Or will I return to the starting point? Or will I stop? What is the measure of victory or defeat?"

And the answers screamed from within me: You were running against the current. You thought you were special, but you weren't. Others abandoned you because what you were chasing wasn't logical or rational. Your supporters fell away one by one, and you were left alone. You were racing against yourself because you set an impossible goal in the wrong place, time, and circumstances. You didn't run fast enough, and you couldn't exert more effort. You achieved nothing; you wasted your time and energy for nothing. What you achieved, many others achieved without the slightest effort. And what did you stand to lose? Your job, which was given to those less qualified than you, and which you had secured before even starting the race. Ironically, that job, which came to you without your seeking it, is all you've gained in life, and it came without any struggle.

You wasted years of your life among books and in taxis, traveling between governorates in search of knowledge in a country where knowledge is not valued and people are divided between the worried and the charlatans. You postponed marriage and having children, and you caught up with the end of the marriage train. Your advantage that attracted the groom was that you were studying, and you discovered that you were living the cold, lifeless life of intellectuals. You enter the homes of your relatives, and your heart is filled with joy and happiness due to the children's shouts, noise, laughter, and the wives' complaints about husbands who are jealous or concerned. If you return to your home, you find it cold and devoid of the reasons for life. You ask yourself, should I return? This option is no longer available, as returning is impossible. Whether you stop or continue makes no difference after all these years. Nothing will happen that hasn't already.

And after all that, you still wonder if you've gained or lost? How foolish of you! You kept mocking those around you for mocking you and your choices, while they moved on with life together, laughing and crying together, comforting each other, sharing their pain, melting the coldness of the days with the warmth of their gatherings, and lightening the heat with their laughter and their mockery of everything. But you kept racing against yourself, thinking you would succeed in achieving what others couldn't, while you ran and ran alone in the wrong direction.

A Letter to God

 I came across one of my childhood diaries when I visited my late father's house. I found a letter I had written titled "A Letter to God," in which I complained to God about the harshness with which my mother treated me and the favoritism shown to my brother. I also asked God for a younger sister. I chuckled to myself at this thought, which had stuck with me. I had seen an Egyptian film shortly before writing that letter, also titled "A Letter to God." The heroine was a little girl who wanted her doll to talk. She went to her father and asked him if he could ask God for anything. Her father told her that God is capable of all things. She then told him that she wanted God to make her doll talk and that she would write a letter to God about it.

She went to her older friend and asked for his help in writing the letter. He helped her, but the child was in an accident that left her speechless, unconscious, and unable to move. Despite this, she survived. Her friend grew up and asked her father for her hand in marriage so he could help care for her. After consulting a doctor, they were told that it wouldn't hurt and might even help her recover. The unconscious girl became pregnant by her husband, and during childbirth, the doctor told them her life was in danger. In a moment of despair, her father found her letter to God. He, too, wrote a letter to God, asking Him to heal his daughter and bring her back to life so she could care for her child and joy could return to her life. God answered his prayer, and the girl survived, gave birth safely, and lived a happy life.

That image might seem fantastical and far removed from reality, but the child within me remained steadfast in her belief that God receives all our written and spoken messages. Nothing ever happened to me, and I never needed anything, without speaking to God, whether through prayer or writing. Now, I remember so many things that have happened to me since I was young, ever since I learned about the method of sending a message to God. I followed it, and many things came true. God answered me after many prayers, which I considered personal messages sent to Him. Things that seemed impossible came to pass, and I found myself receiving things I never imagined I would. God protected me from falling into problems or from people who wished me harm, people I wasn't even aware of. He guided me through very difficult times that I thought I would never experience. Now, immediately, take a pen and paper and write on the top of it, "A Message to God," and underneath it, write the following: "O Lord, I know that You have blessed me with all these blessings: the blessings of sight, hearing, speech, movement, and health. Be grateful to God who has bestowed all these blessings upon you. I confess my sins, O Lord, I know that I have been bad in them." The matter and that matter, and that was a weakness in myself and not a desire to disobey you. I remember your need, I need you, O God, to help me and inspire me in that matter, and make you certain that God hears what is in your soul and knows what your message contains, and His answer will be first a feeling of comfort, second a feeling of support, and third, be certain that He will keep away from you any evil and you will have His protection even from yourself. Then after that, if there is good for you in anything you asked for, it will be fulfilled, and if what you asked for is evil for you in the future, He will prevent it from you.

family

In our Arab society, the family is the center of a woman's attention. As a wife, she cares for her husband, his family, and her own. When she becomes a mother, her focus expands beyond her husband and their families to include her children, their relatives, friends, and their families. Even when her children grow up and start their own families, she becomes the primary caregiver for all the smaller families resulting from her marriage and the children born to her sons. As a daughter, wife, mother, mother-in-law, or grandmother, she is the center of everyone's attention.

In the past, not so long ago, women in our society were the focus of everyone's attention and respect. As a daughter, she was protected by her brothers and cared for by her father. When a woman marries, she becomes the focus of her husband's attention, protection, and care. Even in her old age and frailty, she finds from her children, grandchildren, and even her nephews and nieces a level of affection, care, and respect beyond description. In our Arab societies, a woman was provided with clothing, jewelry as gifts for every occasion, a dowry, and gold as a wedding present. She also had someone to furnish her home, with her husband and father sharing the cost of furnishing the house she would move into to start her new family.

When she marries, she becomes the center of her husband's attention, protection, and care. In the past, work, toil, and hardship outside the home were the domain of men, while wearing jewelry and fine clothes, arranging flowers, and managing the household with the help of maids were the domain of women, even in the humblest of classes. Civilized men would take their wives to parties and the opera, where they would wear evening gowns and jewelry. Their husbands would hold their wives' hands and treat them like queens, ensuring their safety wherever they went. They would allow them to board any means of transportation before them, and they would enter any place they visited first. In crowded places, they would shield their wives with their hands and bodies to prevent them from bumping into anyone, and they would follow them up any staircase.

In the past, homes were filled with the warmth of women, homes where the aroma of delicious homemade food, baked goods, and drinks filled the air. Each woman's recipes were passed down from grandmothers to mothers, and each woman developed and innovated to leave her own unique mark on the food, imbuing it with her passion for her family, her love, and her attention to the details that mattered to each member.

In the past, homes were filled with the warmth of women, homes where the aroma of delicious food, baked goods, and drinks filled the air. Then came the modern era, and the devils in human form needed human intellect. They spread their poisonous ideas among the women of our society, convincing them that they were slaves and servants to men and that they must demand freedom, independence, and liberation. They urged them to leave the house to work and achieve self-realization, reject male guardianship, and stop submitting to their husbands because they spent money on gifts, jewelry, food, houses, and clothes, paying for the luxurious and refined life enjoyed by women of that time. Unfortunately, women were gradually swept along by this trend until they became obsessed with it. Little by little, men withdrew from their roles, and the women of our society began to suffer a conflict between the need to reclaim their femininity and the pursuit of their dreams and the lie of self-realization. Women abandoned their homes, leaving children with nannies without supervision, and became more consumers of processed foods. Luxurious clothing was replaced by jeans and t-shirts, and jewelry and evening wear disappeared. Men no longer worried about women in crowds, and women, of their own free will, became slaves to a false and mere ambition. A cog in the daily grind of misery, she has been transformed from someone who showered everyone with love, care, attention, and delicious homemade food into a weary, irritable working woman burdened by the weight of responsibilities piling up on her shoulders between home, children, work, and social obligations.

Even men have abandoned their homes, seeking warmth outside, each according to their means and religious beliefs. Even children now live with their phones and friends, oblivious to what's happening even within their own homes. The warmth, love, and affection shared among family members have also deserted homes, leaving them cold and desolate, resembling hotels or even restaurants, as everyone eats fast food outside to avoid returning home to a place devoid of companionship. Divorce rates have skyrocketed, and nursing homes have proliferated—a practice once considered shameful. Unhealthy relationships have become widespread, and misery permeates every corner of society.

Children's Terror

When I was little, I was terrified whenever adults argued in front of me, especially if it was my parents.  was always afraid they would divorce, and I worried about my brother and me. I always sided with my mother, despite her harshness and despite my deep love for my father.

Now, when I look at the children of the world, I grieve for them. Arguments between adults are no longer just raised voices, verbal abuse, or threats of divorce. They are now exposed to witnessing murders, often very violent ones, and are witnesses to horrific domestic violence. They are also victims of violence themselves, sometimes at the hands of their own parents.

All of this isn't the worst-case scenario. The worst scenario is what Muslim children everywhere are enduring: bombing, killing, starvation, home demolitions, displacement, arrest, rape, and even their murder is merciless. Some are denied food, others medicine and treatment, living through their worst nightmares, suffering and pain until death. Some die from the cold or from homelessness, without shelter or walls to protect them from the winter's chill and the summer's heat.

Whenever I look at the children of Sudan, Gaza, the Uyghurs, and the Rohingya, I'm reminded of the terror I feel from such trivial things, whether it's an adult squabble, a mouse running past me, a small reptile crawling on the walls, or even just the fear of any insect. I now know that my generation had a wonderful, happy childhood, and my heart bleeds with horror at what children everywhere are enduring in this cruel world, which truly makes us long for Judgment Day so that those who have had mercy ripped from their hearts will be held accountable, those who used children, women, and the elderly as targets in their wars, their thirst for blood knowing no bounds.

devastating cruelty

 We women are bundles of emotions, but of course, we are not all the same. There are women who are firm, strict, and even harsh. My mother was one of those women. She believed that her harsh upbringing was the only way to make me a better person. The truth is, I did become a better person outwardly, but her harshness left me constantly needing affection. I feel unworthy of love except under certain conditions, the most important of which is that I must always be superior, always obedient, and always give my all to please others. Because of that harshness, I became more averse to harsh people and more drawn to those who treat me with tenderness.

We women are bundles of emotions, but of course, we are not all the same. There are women who are firm, strict, and even harsh. My mother was one of those women. She believed that her harsh upbringing was the only way to make me a better person. The truth is, I did become a better person outwardly, but her harshness left me constantly needing affection. I feel unworthy of love except under certain conditions, the most important of which is that I must always be superior, always obedient, and always give my all to please others. Because of that harshness, I became more averse to harsh people and more drawn to those who treat me with tenderness.

Introduction

Peace be upon you. Today is a pivotal day in my life; perhaps I'll tell you why later.

Let me introduce myself. I'm Wissam, a woman who will turn 50 in a few months. I'm from Egypt, married for the second time, and we have no children. I hold a PhD in Arts, specializing in Sociology. I worked as a social worker until a month ago, but I decided to retire—that's another story I'll tell you later. Since I was little, I've loved reading and writing, especially writing stories and my memoirs. The truth is, we women are naturally gifted at storytelling. Psychologists consider it a way to release pent-up energy and anger. In Egyptian Arabic, we call it "venting." These stories, and the sharing of them among women in our world, help regulate our hormones, especially since they fluctuate constantly.

Perhaps we all turn to friends or strangers because we don't find anyone in our immediate and social circles, even within our families, who listens to us, understands us, or appreciates our needs. Even from a young age, despite having a large family, I felt that no one listened to my honest inner dialogue. I always spoke words that didn't reflect my true feelings, fearing that I might upset or criticize the person I was speaking to, or even lose them. So I performed this task for everyone without exception, because everyone has the right to find someone to listen. But after all these years, I decided to speak my mind without fear of anyone or of harming anyone.

العشم بزيادة

 اكتر حاجة بتوجع أى ست هى العشم بزيادة، العشم فى أن الراجل اللى اختارته يكون جوزها وسندها وأبو أولادها يبقى واقف فى ضهرها يدعمها فى كل موقف تكون ضعيفة فيه يكون سور بتتحامى فيه من أى عواصف جاية على حياتها، يكون الأيد إللى تطبطب عليها لما الدنيا تيجى عليها بالجامد، يكون الحضن إللى تدفن فيها راسها وتخبى فيه دموعها لما تنهار دنيتها يكون البلسم إللى يداوى صدمتها فى قريب او صديقة او زميلة او او او، يكون الجبل إللى تركن عليه لما تخلص طاقتها وقوتها، لكن لما بتعدى عليها مواقف صعبة ولا تلاقيه سور ولا جبل ولا حضن ولا حتى نافع يكون جوز شرابات يدفوا رجليها من برد الشخص بيبقى جواها مرارة وكسرة نفس ووجع مش من كل صعوبات الحياة لا من خذلان الشخص اللى اتعشمت فيه بزيادة

بيقولوا معقدة

ساعات تلاقى ناس مش فاهمة أى حاجة مروا بتجربة جواز سوية وسليمة ماشى الله يباركلهم ، طيب لما يلاقوا حد تعبان فى جوازه أرجوكم ما تعملوش نفسكم حكام وقضاة وتحكموا على الناس اللى أنتوا ما عشتوش تجربتهم أنهم معدومى الصبر وفاشلين ومش عارفين يحافظوا على بيوتهم، ماحدش بجد بيعرف مستوى الوجع غير اللى مر بيه، وفعلا صدق الله العظيم إذ قال(لايكلف الله نفساً إلا وسعها) ماحدش عارف لو مريت بتفاصيل تجربته ووجعه وألمه وكان لك نفس تركيبة شخصيته كنت هتستحمل ولالأ ، ومش عشان شريككم فى الحياة طلع حد سوى وكويس والمشاكل اللى بينكم كانت فى المعقول وفى المحتمل بلاش تنتقدوا غيركم وتنصبوا المشانق كل شخص وله طاقة وله احتياجات تختلف عن الباقى، وكل ست لما حلمت ترتبط حلمت بشريك يساند ويسند ويطبطب ويحب ويحن سيبكم من الأسطوانة المشروخة بتاعة كل البنات عاوزة كل حاجة وكل البنات ما بتبطلش طلبات عشان دول للأسف بيلاقوا اللى يغذى أطماعهم وأحلامهم ويحققهالهم عشان كل أحلامهم مادية لكن فيه بنات أصول وبنات ناس كتير متربين وعارفين ربهم وعاوزين البيت اللى يحقق لهم الاستقرار والرجل اللى يحقق الأمان لكن لما يبقى البيت سجن لكل ست لأحلامها ووسجن ليها مع هموم ومشاكل وشعور بالتهديد من الشريك اللى المفروض يكون مصدر أمان وهى تبقى بتبنى وهو يهد، مصيبة معظم الشركاء من الرجالة أنهم دايما فاهمين أنهم مش مقصرين، تعال وقرب ودنك ليا يا عم الحاج التقصير يمكن ما يكونش فى الأكل والشرب ودفع الفواتير بس كل الحاجات دى أحب أقولك كانت متوفرة لها قبلك وأزيدك من البيت شعر كمان كان متوفرلها أب يحن عليها ويدعمها ويشجعها ويغير عليها ويحبها ويدلعها وموفر لها حاجات يمكن أمكانياتك كشاب ما تقدرش توفيها، كمان كان موفرلها كمية من الحب والايثار وتفضيلها على نفسه وخوف عليها أكتر منك بمراحل فضلت تسيب ده كله وتروح بيتك تبدأ معاك وتكون لها الأب والأخ والحبيب والزوج والصديق، سابت كل الرفاهية فى بيت باباهاعشان تبدأ معاك من الأول، اتحملت شغلها بره البيت عشان تساعد بفلوسها فى مصروف البيت وتشيل عنك بعد ما كان مرتبها لها كله تصرفه على لبسها ومكياجها وفسحها، بترجع من شغلها متبهدلة تجرى على المطبخ تطبخ وتغسل وتكنس وتمسح عشان تيجى أنت هلكان من شغلك تاكل وتنام أو تخرج رغم أنها كانت بترجع من شغلها تنام وتصحى تلاقى مامتها محضرة لها الأكل ويمكن تخرج تتفسح، استبدلتك بكل صاحباتها وقريباتها وكل أنشطة اليومية وأنت زهقانة وحاسس بالخنقة وبالملل وشايف نفسك أتورطت ولما البنت تلاقى نفسها بقت ست وراجل ومتحملة كل المسئوليات واللى معاها هربان بحجج مختلفة لازم تكره الارتباط ولما يزيد بالخيانة ويفضل الشريك يكسر فيها ويحطم لازم تبقى معقدة مش منه بس من كل الرجالة فمعلش اللى هيقعدوا ينظروا ويحكموا عليه يقعدولنا على جنب شوية وعموما دى كانت مجرد فضفضة ستات

حماتى قنبلة نووية

بادىء ذى بدء أنا عارفة أن فيه حموات بلسم ومحترمة وعاقلة وتحب الخير لآولادها، وفيه زوجات أبناء عاوزين الضرب بالنار ومفتريين، لكن كلامى هنا مش لدى ولا لدى، كلامى هنا لحالة الحموات الفاتنات اللى مش قادرين يتخيلوا أن أولادهم كبروا وجت واحدة خدته، وتفضل تردد خلفى يا خايبة للغايبة، وتشن حرب على الغلبانة اللى بتحاول تستحمل عشان البيت ما يتخربش واولادها يتبهدلوا.

فى الحالة دى أيوة الحماة بيكون تأثيرها مدمر زى القنبلة النووية وبعيدة المدى كمان، لأنها ما بتأثرش على فرد ولا اتنين دى بتأثر على جيل وساعات تمتد لأجيال، وتعالوا نشوف قصتها من الأول الأم اللى هى أعظم كائن أرضى والجنة اتوجدت تحت أقدامهم تخلف ولد وبنت من يوم ما البنت تقف على رجليها تحلم باليوم اللى هتشوفها فيه عروسة، أما الولد فبعد حتى الثلاثين لسه بدرى عليه، ماشى ربت الاتنين وسهرت وعلمت وهى دى المصيبة المدارس والجامعات بتعلم الطب والهندسة وطرق التدريس وغيره من المهن ، لكن اللى بتعلمه الأم هى فنون الحياة، وصدقوا أو ماتصدقوش الذكور أكثر تعلقاً بأمهاتهم وتأثراً بتربيتهم من آبائهم، يعنى الولد ممكن يقلد تصرفات أبوه، لكن لو الأم حاولت تعدل سلوكه بيتعدل، ولو الأب ممتاز ولا غبار عليه والأم شخصية مفترية فهتعلم ابنها يفترى على امراته والنماذج كتير والدراسات أكتر، المهم لما البنت والولد بيجوا يتجوزوا بتبقى عاوزة احسن حاجة للآتنين بس هى ممكن تميل عقل الأب شوية لو العريس غلبان اللى متقدم لبنتها ومن يوم ما بيخطب البنت وهى بتعامله كملك وبتعامله معاملة الأبن وأحسن ماهى خايفة على بنتها، نيجى نبص بقى على الناحية التانية من أول مقابلة بتطلع فيها طباطيب العبر، والقطط الفطسة ، وياسلام بقى لو ابنها بيحب البنت وعاوز يجيب كل اللى اهلها طلبوه وفى مقدرته يعمل كده فعلا، ياخراااابى النار والغيرة بتاكل فيها وتستخدم كل اسلحتها ضد البنت واهلها، وكل ماتشوف ابنها ملهوف على خطيبته تحوش لها ماهى مضطرة تطاطى عشان الريح تعدى وهى عارفة ان البنت جاية لها جاية وانها هتدخل معاها فى معركة وهتنتصر حتى لو ماحصلش طلاق وخراب للبيت، كفاية المر اللى هتشربه لزوجة ابنها، والسؤال أزاى واحدة ست وأم تقبل تهين ست زيها وبنت ناس، واللى يغيظ أنها ماتقبلش على بنتها كده وتعمل كده فى بنات الناس، ولما انتى ياستى مش عاوزة ابنك يتجوز ما تخليه جنبك، ولما انتى مش عاوزاه يتجوز واحدة يحبها ويهنيها عاوزاها هى تحبه وتهنيه ازاى؟ ولما انتى غيرانة عليه من مراته ما فكرتيش بعقل مرة ان دورها غير دورك، وأن ابنك محتاجها عشان الحياة تستقيم وتستمر، وازاى تكونى شايفاها ضرتك مش بنتك أو ان ابنك لما يقهرها ويهملها ويكسرها ويحطمها يبقى ده بر بيكى وانتصار لقيمتك ودورك فى حياته، وازاى بتصلى وتصومى وعاوزة الجنة وانتى ظالمة وبتساعدى ابنك على ظلم ست ضعيفة بتقاوم عشان تحمى بيتها من الحرب اللى انتى بتشنيها عليها وخاصة بعد الجواز انتى اللى بتبقى فى موقف قوة وهى خلاص بتبقى شخصية مملة فى نظر جوزها، وتبدأ امه تبقى اولوية ويبدأ يعلق كرهه لمراته وظلمه ليها على شماعة بره لأمه.

يا حاجة يا أمى يا كل حماة اسمعى الصوم والصلاة والقرآن وكل عمل صالح ليكى بيضيع لما تظلمى او تساعد ابنك على ظلم بنات الناس، ابنك على ما ربيته فربيه على انه يكون بار بيكى  وما يظلمش مراته ويعرف يعدل بينكم انتم الاتنين ويدى لكل واحدة حقها فيه قبل ما يكبر وتضطرى تحاربى مراته، حبيها وعامليها زى بنتك وهى وابنك يبقوا معاكى، خليكى عادلة أه بتحبى ابنك وعاوزاه حواليكى لكن مش معقولة يدى لشغله وليكى ولآصحابه ولما يجى يدى يوم لمراته تنزلى بالتليفون على دماغه وتدعى التعب والعيا عشان بيوحشك ولا تسيبى بيتك وتيجى تعسكرى من أول اليوم عندهم وتاخديه وتقعدى والتانية مطلوب منها فى يوم راحتها واجازتها مع جوزها تفضل قاعدة فى المطبخ او بتسمع حكاياتك ان ما كانش تبقى مش طايقاكى ومش بتحسن معاملتك، هى كمان بشر وعاوزة ترتاح وتحس بخصوصيتها وعندها بيت وشغل وولاد وابنك دلوعتك اكيد مش بيساعدها فى حاجة خاصة بعد توصياتك، ما تقلبيش وشك لما تيجى سيرة امها ولا اخواتها ولا تأذيها فيهم عشان ما تكرهكيش هى كمان بتحب اهلها وبتبرهم، ومعلش اه احنا بنقولك عامليها زى بنتك وبنقولها تعاملك زى امها بس لا عمرك هتحسى ناحيتها زى اللى بتحسيه ناحية بنتك ولا هى عمرها هتحس ناحيتك زى اللى بتحسى ناحية ابنها الا لو انتى اسرتيها بمعروفك وحب ابنك ليها كان مخلى رغبتها فى ارضائه اعلى من شعورها الغريزى، بلاش تدخلى فى خصوصياتها مع ابنك وتتكلمى فى مرتبها وميراثها وفلوسها وتختمى عبارتك بان ابنك شغال فحت وردم طول النهار وهى قاعدة مرتاحة تاكل من شقاه وتعبه، حرام عليك واتقى الله ماهى كمان ممكن تكون بتشتغل وبتعمل بفلوسها ايه مالكيش دعوة مفيش واحدة هتحس ان بيتها وولادها محتاجين حاجة وتبخل، وابنك السبع لو ماكنش قادر يفتح بيت بيفتحه ليه، وفوق ده وده مرتاحة فين بترجع هى وابنك من شغلهم ابنك ياكل اللى هى طبخته ويلبس اللى هى غسلته، وينام فى البيت اللى هى رتبته، ومطلوب منها توفر له جو الراحة عشان ينام وهى تشطب الحوض وتنضف ارضيات وتغسل وتكوى وتحمى العيال وتذاكر لهم فى الوقت اللى هو فيه مع اصحابه او قاعد عند ماما بتهشكه وتدلعه وتقومه على مراته، اعرفى ان كل طلاق حصل انتى مشاركة فيه بقدر كبير لأن اللى طلق ابنك وتربيتك وانتى اكتر حد بيأثر فيه لو كنتى عاوزاهم يعيشوا سعداء على الأقل اعملى اللى عليكى وابعدى عن تسميم حياتهم لأن مش حياة البنت ولا ولاد ابنك بس اللى بتدمر لكن حياة ابنك كمان، صحيح هيتجوز تانى بس طول ما انتى موجودة بطباعك وتربيتك اللى مترسخة فى شخصيته وتدخلك فى حياته هتدمريه وتدمرى ناس تانية فبطلى غيرة واتقى الله ويا اما تتحملى مجريات الأمور وطبيعة الأدوار واختلاقها بينك وبين امراته يا أما ما تقرفيش بنات الناس وتبلينا بابن أمه ده وخليه لحضرتك احتفظى به واعفى بنات الناس من الجوازة المزدوجة دى اللى هتبقى الواحدة متجوزة على الورق واحد وفى الحقيقة هى متجوزاه هو وأمه وامه زى ما قولنا قنبلة نووية.

مكتوب فى البطاقة مدام بس لسه عانس؟

دا نوع من العنوسة صعب أوى بنرتكبه فى حق نفسنا أحياناً ، أيوة بتتجوزى لأن الناس بتضغط عليكى أنك تتجوزى والمجتمع بيفضل يمارس الضغط بكل قوته، لحد ما تبقى مؤمنة بأنك ما تستحقيش أفضل من الفرصة اللى قدامك ولحد ما تبقى متخوفة أن القطار يفوت ويدوسك زى ما بيفهموكى وتفضل ثقتك بنفسك تتزعزع وتتزعزع لحد ما تبقى عاوزة أى كائن حى مكتوب فى بطاقته ذكر وخلاص، وتقبلى بكل عيوبه الخطيرة اللى بتفهمى نفسك أنها عادى أرحم من كلام الناس وضغوطهم عليكى، وبتبقى عاوزة الجواز ده عشان يبقى ورقة تبرىء نفسك بيها أمام المجتمع اللى قرفك وتفهمى كل الناس أنك طبيعية وقابلة للزواج وماعندكيش حاجة تخافى منها ولا مشكلة تخوفك من الجواز، وبتبقى من خيابتك بتدارى عيوب الزوج اللى فوق ما المجتمع دفعك للجواز منه هو نفس المجتمع اللى دفعك لتقبل عيوبها والرضا بيها وتجميلها مش عشانك لكن عشان تهرب من شماتة نفس المجتمع، التركيبة المريضة دى لو تماشيتى معاها يوم من الأيام هتندمى، هتهربى من عانس قدام يمكن فرص قليلة للجواز ويمكن ما قدمهاش، لعانس بس واخدة لقب زوجة أمام المجتمع وعلى الورق، هتلاقى نفسك عايشة لوحدك واللى معاكى الحاضر الغائب، هتحاول تحببيه فيكى هتلاقيه أنانى وما يملكش أى رومانسية فمشاعرك هتدبل وكأنها عروقك اللى بيجرى فيها الدم وأنت عارفة لو الدم مالقاش عروق يمشى فيها هتموت الروح والجسد، هيكون زى الرقع فى ثوبك بيكشف عورتك أكتر ما بيسترك وهتفضلى تسدى الرقع وكل ماتسدى رقعة هتبان واحدة جديدة، مش هتلاقى فيه السند ولا الدعم ولا الحبيب ولا الصديق ولا الراجل اللى ممكن يحميكى ويتكفل بمسئوليتك ومش كده وبس لو كنتى مستكترة أنك تستنى سنة او اتنين على أمل أن يظهر راجل بجد يسعدك، هتفضلى الباقى من عمرك ست مستنية راجل متأكدة أنه مش هيظهر ولو ظهر مستحيل هيكون بينكم أى علاقة، الجواز مش راجل يتحط اسمه فى قسيمة جواز فيها اسمك، مش شقة وفرش وعفش، مش دبلة وأسورة وسلسلة، وحفلة وفستان وكوافير، مش صباحية وعزومات، لكن الجواز بجد هو اللى بيجى بعد دا كله، الجواز راجل يسندك فى الدنيا دى يحى مشاعرك بكلمة حلوة، يتكفل بمسئوليتك، يحميكى ، يخاف عليكى، يحترمك، يشاركك حياتك واهتماماتك، راجل وجوده بيفرحك ووجودك بيفرحه، مش راجل لما بتكونى جنبه بيحزن ولما بيبعدك عن محيطه بيفرحه، الجواز ميثاق غليظ ما يفهموش إلا الراجل اللى بجد مش كل من صام وصلى عارف ربنا، فمش كل ذكر راجل وعارف لمسئولياتك حبيبتى العانس، أوعى تتجوزى واحد يقتلك عشان تعيشى قدام الناس متجوزة وتعتقدى أنك رفعتى راسك الحياة فيها أكبر من قسيمة الجواز ، لو حريصة أنك تعيشى بجد وترتاحى بجد الصبر أفضل مليون مرة من فرصة جواز هتبقى على الورق بس وأنت فى الحقيقة هتفضل عانس وتعيسة ووحيدة بقية عمرك.

نظرية ولا مؤاخذة الجزمة

نظرية ولا مؤاخذة (الجزمة) دى نظرية اخترعتها وأنا بأحاول أقنع حد من الطلبة بتوعى بحل مشكلته، وأن النظرية دى مفاداها واسمحوا لى أقول مفاداها وأنا بأتكلم عن الجزمة ، أن الواحدة فينا لما تحب تشترى جزمة بتنزل السوق ونفسها تنقى أحلى حاجة خاصة لو الجزمة بقى هتطول معاها وناوية تجيبها من النوع النضيف ،بتفكرى فى إيه وانتى بتشترى جزمة أقولك أنا بتفكرى بتفكرى زى اليابانيين فى جزمة تخلى رجلك تبان صغيرة وخاصة لو كانت رجلك كبيرة، وزى الباريسيين تكون على الموضة، وزى الإنجليز تكون أنيقة وتناسب جميع الأوقات وتبينك كلاس، وزى الأمريكان تكون بسيطة وعملية عشان تساعدك على سهولة الحركة وتديلك استايل شبابى، وزى الاسرائيليين أحلى حاجة بأقل سعر، وزى الإيطاليين شيك وتخلى اللى يشوفها فى رجلك يحب يتعرف على صاحبتها ويقع فى هواكى، وزى المصريين اللى هما خليط من كل التفكير السابق ، هتقولى لى ولا حاجة من دى بتيجى فى دماغى هاقولك لا لامؤاخذة كل ده جواكى بس أنتى مش مدركاه عشان هو جوه ثقافتنا وشربناه لحد ما بقينا مش واخدين بالنا أوى إذا كان انجليزى ولا امريكانى من كتر ماهو بيحصل تلقائى، وعشان أحنا الفراعنة أصحاب 7000سنة حضارة وما ينفعش نفكر زى حد، ما علينا المهم أنك فى النهاية بتفضلى تلفى تلفى لحد ما تشدك حاجة فى فاترينة محل تحسى أنها هى دى وتدخلى ويخيب أملك أنك بعد اللف دا كله لقيتى الموديل بس مالقيتيش المقاس ويبقى قدامك حاجة من اتنين يا تقومى وتدورى فى محلات تانية يمكن يعجبك حاجة تانية او تلاقى واحدة شبهها بمقاس أكبر، أو تكونى اتعلقتى بيها وتاخديها وتوهمى نفسك أنها هتوسع ، لو اخترتى الحل الأول ممكن تلاقى وممكن ما تلاقيش فتضطرى تشترى اللى يجى مقاسك والسلام وهتبقى مقريفة بس أهو أديكى خدتى الريسك أما إذا اخترتى تاخديها رغم معرفتك المسبقة أنها أصغر من مقاس رجلك فإليك الآتى الفرحة فى الأول هتخليكى تتغاضى عن الألم اللى هتبقى حاسة بيه فى رجليكى ماهى ضيقة وانبهار صحباتك أول ما يشوفوها فى رجلك هينسيكى كمان شوية أو هيلهيكى كمان شوية، ومنظرها اللى مخلى رجلك صغيرة وشكلها الحلو هيديكى شوية صبر لكن كل ساعة هتمر هتحسى انها بتتضيق على رجليكى اكتر وان قدرتك على تحمل ضغطها على اعصاب رجليكى بتنهار وكام مشوار وتبدأى تخلعيها كل ما تقدر عشان رجلك تستريح، وكل ما تيجى تدخلى رجلك بعد ما تخرج منها تحسى رجلك بتصرخ والأكثر قسوة بقى لما رجليكى تتعور ولا يطلع لك كالو من كتر ضيق الجزمة وتفضلى مستخسرة الجزمة وفلوسك اللى اندفعت فيها واعجابك بنفسك واعجاب الناس بيها فى رجلك، وازاى هتقلعيها قبل ما بقية الناس فى كل أنحاء الأرض تشوفها لحد ما يجى وقت الألم يبقى صعب أوى اوى أوى أوى وتبقى مستعدة تبدليها لامؤاخذة بشبشب بلاستيك من أبو صابع ده عارفاه بس ترتاحى من الألم وتنسى كل الاعتبارات السابقة.

كل اللى فات ده لانك اخترتى جزمة غلط ، عارفة لو حصل واخترتى جوازة غلط دى بقى مش جزمة ولا خمسين جنيه راحوا فى الأرض أو 100 أو حتى 200 دا عمرك واعتبارات كتيرة ووضع هيغير حياتك الناس ممكن ما تدخل شفى حياتك لو اخترتى جزمة غلط وقررتى تغيريها لكن لو اخترتى راجل غلط لو وهمتى نفسك أنه مناسب وهو مش مناسب لو قررت تقبلى عيوبه قصاد ميزة أنه يعجب الناس أو ضل راجل والسلام لو ضحكتى على روحك وقلتى لنفسك هيتغير بعد الجواز هاساعده بحبى وحنانى والكلام الهجس ده أوعى تعملى كده أوعى تستعجلى خدى الريسك risk ودورى تانى على حد يناسبك أوعى تتخدعى بالمظهر، أوعى تفكرى فى الناس وكلامهم واعجابهم بغنى العريس أو مظهره أو شكله أو وظيفته أو عيلته أو أى حاجة دورى على اللى هيريحك دى حياتك اللى جاية مش ساعة ولا اتنين ولا يوم ولا شهر دا عمرك اللى جاياى، ومش جزمة هتلبسها وتتحركى بيها زى ما انتى عاوزة وتريح رجليكى وقت ما تحبى، دا شريك حياة وراجل هيقود حياتك مهما اتقال بقى من كلام عن حقوق المرأة وبطيخ المرأة والمساواة والفشنك دا كله، جوه البيت هيكون فيه وضع من اتنين ياراجل بيحبك فبغيرك ويبرمجك بالراحة ويسمح لك بحاجة ويمنعك بطريقته من حاجة، ياراجل هيعمل اللى هو عاوزه ويسيبك تتضربى دماغك فى أتخن حيط، والخروج من جوازة فاشلة مش زى التخلص من جزمة ضيقة ياريته سهل ، وانت عانس شايفة الحصول على عريس صعب عارفة وانتى مطلقة الحصول على عريس شكله إيه، بلاش عارفة عشان بس مخ الناس اللى مش نضيف عشان يبطلوا يفكروا فيكى كسلعة رخيصة أو ست سهلة أو أكيد جوزك شاف عليكى حاجة أو فى أفضل الحالات أنك ست مش عاقلة وما عرفتيش تحافظى على بيتك وجوزك ، عارفة الألم النفسانى والجسمانى لو اخترتى غلط وبقيتى مضطرة تتعايشى مع غلطك كل دقيقة فى الأربعة وعشرين ساعة، عارفة أن حتى لو الناس شافوا الظلم اللى واقع عليكى برضة مش هيرحموكى لو اتطلقتى، عشان كده التأخير فى الجواز مش معضلة استنى شوية مهما كان الألم اللى بيسببه الأنتظار أو كلام الناس أو نظرتهم أرحم بكتير من اختيار غلط هتندمى عليه هيقلص اختياراتك بعد كده ويحطك فى خانة المتهمين حتى لو ثبتت برائتهم ، الاختيار هو أهم وأصعب حاجة فى الجواز فإياكى تختارى غلط وكل جزمة ....لامؤاخذة قصدى جوازة وأنتم طيبين.